joke: So this guy walks into a bar carrying a moving box, and he says to the bartender "If I show you the coolest thing you've ever seen, will you give me a free beer?" And the bartender says, "Well, sure, but I've seen some pretty cool things in my life, so as long as it tops that, you get a free beer." So the guy puts his box ontop of the bar and opens it, and inside there's a little man playing a piano. Now the bartender says, "Woah, that's so amazing, where did you get that guy? Here's your beer" And the guy says "Well, I ran into this lamp here," and he pulls out the lamp, "and I rubbed it, and the genie gave me this" Now the bartender is so amazed and he says "Dude, can I try it?" And the guy lets him, and the bartender rubs the lamp and the genie pops out and gives him the three wishes schpiel and the bartender says "Okay, I wish for a million bucks" And right away, a million ducks appear in the bar, and through the ducks, the bartender says "You didnt tell me this genie was hard of hearing!" and the guy takes a sip of his beer and says "Yeah, I didn't wish for a ten inch pianist either."
First Name: Contro
joke: So a man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. Out of the blue he says,All layers are assholes. After a few moments of silence, a man replies,I take that personally! Why? asks the other man. Becase Im an asshole.
First Name: Don
joke: A leper walks into the bar. The bartender looks at the leper and pukes all over the place. The leper says to the bartender, "Come on man I know i'm ass ugly, but you didn't have to puke." The bartender then tells the leper, "I'm sorry, but it really wasn't you that made me puke it was the guy dipping his chips in your neck."
First Name: justin c
joke: A man walks into a bar, he see's a jar full of money , he ask's how he can get the money.The bartender say's you have to do three tasks.The first is chug a pitcher of beer down.(He chugs it down). The second is take the Rotten tooth out of this rotweiler out back, but while your out there do the third. So he ask's what it is. He says Do my old grandma because she's never had a orgasm. So he runs out.And he hears the dog howl real loud, he runs back in and says "Where Is The Grandma With The Rotton Tooth?"
First Name: Cathy
joke: An Irishman, And Englishman and a Scot are in a bar when a fly lands in each of their beers. The Englishman, disgusted, pushes the beer away and demands a new one. The Scot, picks the fly out and keeps drinking. The Irishman grabs the fly, sqeezes it, and shouts, "Spit it out you little bastard!"
First Name: bernie
joke: A man is at the bar one night and decides he should go outside for some fresh air due to the fact that he is extremely drunk. When he tries to stand up he falls on his face so he tries again and falls again. Finally he crawls home and sneeks into bed. In the morning the man's wife wakes him up and says, "you went drinking last night didn't you?" Realizing he was caught the man asks how she knew and the wife responds by saying, "you left your wheelchair at the bar again."
First Name: Chris
joke: Tigger and Eeyore are at the bar when Tigger says he's going to the bathroom. Eeyore sits waiting for Tigger for a half hour then decides to get up. When he gets to the bathroom he sees Tigger with his face in the toilet and asks him, "What the hell are you doing?" Tigger replies, "Looking for Pooh"
First Name: Doogie
joke: A man walks into a pub in ireland and orders three pints of guiness. The bartender gives them to him and the man walks to the back of the bar and sips on each of them. When he is finished the man walks up and orders three more. This time the bartender asks why he doesn't just order one at a time. The man explains that he has a brother in the US and in Australia and when they left home they agreed to each drink like this to remember when they used to get boozed up together. The bartender agrees this is a nice custom and pours three more pints.
The man returns to the bar night after night and soon becomes a regular. One night he goes up to the bar and only orders two pints. All of the other regulars and the bartender stop drinking and express their concern for his loss. The man then explains "oh no, everyone's fine I just quit drinking!"
